No, it wasn't Frank Rich, or Maureen Dowd.

That would be way too much too expect, especially of Rich,
who is a Billy Jay Fellowship winner, and the the only exception
to the "even a broken clock is right twice a day" rule.

The columnist would be David Brooks, and on June 20th he
wrote a piece in the Times called "The Two Obamas."

It's worth reading.

And remembering.

It may get read, but I doubt it will be remembered. Obama is
on the fast track to sainthood, and I don't think anyone can
stop the train.

There is hope however.

And it lies in the price of gasoline. You see, when Saint Obama
gets to Washington, he might not be able to raise taxes. Even
on those evil corporations that provided him with a $4 million dollar
income last year. But remember, his advice to college graduates.
"Ambition is not a good thing." Except for him.

Gas prices are not coming down soon. A windfall profits tax will
not bring down the price of gasoline, it will raise it higher. The
public won't stand for higher gasoline prices and higher taxes.

No matter how silky his voice and words, Americans can count.
And if they have less money under Obama than with Bush, they
are not going to be happy. Add the gazillions of dollars for absolutely
idiotic green projects, and he will be a one term disaster.

Brooks chronicles Obama's record. He voted "present" 130 times
in Illinois.

He took no stand on any controversial issue.

He did nothing in the U.S.Senate.

Brooks calls him "Fast Eddie."

And a ruthless opportunist.

I'm more interested in the ruthless opportunist.

Like our old friend Billy Jay, Obama may know what to do to get to
the White House. The problem is knowing what to do when you get
there.

Dick Morris says Billy Jay spent the first four years learning how
to be President. Then it didn't matter anymore.

I don't think Obama has fours years to learn the job. In Washington,
most of your friends have deserted the ship by then.

Brooks is ambivalent about the two Obamas.

He shouldn't be.

From the big saddle,

Jim Whelan
The Chairman of the Board

P.S. We do it all here at: thejoandallrandallagency.com.
Newspapers, magazines, radio, television, whatever your
media needs. And we do it better, faster, and cheaper than
our competitors.

Call 206 407 3124

This morning at the breakfast joint I was thinking about
how many hours I actually put in in a week.Usually I don't
think about this, because if you love what you do, it really
isn't work.

One thing I can tell you is that I don't spend all my time
on the phone making calls. I don't start my day at the
crack of dawn either. The are some sales organizations
that force their people to start making calls at 7 AM, take
lunch at 12:15, and call it a day at 6 PM.

You can make some money that way, but that style
doesn't suit me very well. Sometimes, when things
aren't going my way, I don't work harder, I take a day
off. That would send a lot of sales managers blood
pressure through the roof, but it works for me.

For optimum selling, you need to be relaxed, and confident.
Sometimes you can get too keyed up, and you may think
you're doing a bang up job, but the reality is that you aren't.
Your tension shows through to the customer, and they pick
up on it.

Nobody wants to buy from "Nervous Pervis."

There really isn't a concrete answer to the question.

Nells, a friend of mine from way back, used to go over his
weekly quota on Wednesday. He played golf Thursday and
Friday, and this used to drive his sales manager crazy. He
would raise his quota, and Nells would still be ahead of the
game by close of business on Wednesday.

Golf was part of his selling strategy. He made most of his
deals Thursday and Friday, and filled out paperwork Monday,
Tuesday, and Wednesday.

The sales manager fired Nells. Nells went to work for a
competitor, and took 90% of his business with him. And
then he landed a couple of whales. And you could find him
on the golf course every Thursday and Friday.

Another friend of mine named Ted started work at 530 AM.
He finished at 230 PM. No ifs, ands, or buts, he was locked
down at 230. And get this this, 80% of his business was
done before 10 AM.

It's not how many hours you log. It's how efficient you are
with the time you are doing actual selling. Don't waste an
hour when you can finish in 15 minutes. And don't waste 15
minutes when 2 minutes will do the trick.

The bottom line is dollars, not hours.

I once dropped my largst account after I analyzed it. The
profit margin did not justify the service time it required. Sales
volume is not an indicator of good sales. Large, marginally
profitable deals are often not worth the time and effort required
to see them through.

Once when I was pretty green I made a very large sale. I told
an older salesman about it at lunch. He asked me a question,
"How much did YOU make on the deal?"

Think about that, and you have the answer to the first question.

From the big saddle,

Jim Whelan
The Chairman of the Board

P.S. Optimism continues to run high here at:
thejoanrandallagency.com.

Our clients continue to get more exposure, and make more
money than their competitors. Call 206 407 3124 to find out why.

At a breakfast roundtable this morning I heard all kinds of
excuses about performance. They were all laughable. Maybe
not to those who believe this kind of crap, but they certainly
were to me.

Now I heard any number of things, pure pessimism, stock
market theories, fierce competition, prospects saying no,
and then the one tht really got to me, waiting for busines
conditions to pick up.

That one really threw me for a loop.

Successful salespeople sell in all kinds of conditions. One
of my friends was in the middle of a sales presentation to
a Thai family when the power went out. He went to his truck,
pulled out two powerful flashlights, and brought them inside.
The flashlights helped the family find candles, and he finished
his presentation, and did all the paperwork by flashlight, and
candlelight. That was a $38,000.00 deal.

Almost everybody else I know would have packed it in when
the power went out. This same salesperson once drove over
two hours to see a prospect, a farmer. When he arrived, the
farmer was on the roof of his barn, and refused to come down,
saying he changed his mind. My friend calmly removed the
ladder from the side of the barn, and told the farmer he could
stay on the roof as long as he liked.

Then he walked back to his truck with the ladder.

Suddenly, the farmer had another change of heart. Two hours
later they wrapped up a $30,000.00 deal.

Sales ain't bean bag.

Just like the Marines, you adapt and improvise, depending
on the conditions you find. I often surprised prospects by
showing up in the middle of a storm. Believe me, it isn't hard
to close those deals.

Business conditions will never be ideal. The market will never
do just exactly what analysts think. What benefit can you
possibly get by waiting?

I can guarantee you one thing you'll get by waiting.

No sales.

No revenue.

No paycheck.

That certainly is not a pretty picture.

What all these excuses boil down to is fear. And any salesman
with fear in his heart is not going to be successful.

Good salespeople need to get positive, and stay positive. If you f
ollow that simple rule, you'll weatherproof yourself.

From the big saddle,

Jim Whelan
The Chairman of the Board

P.S. Are you running your ad in the right place?
Let us help you find where the "real buyers" are.
Contact us at: thejoanrandallagency.com, or call 206 407 3124.

Last year it was the deplorable conditions at Walter
Reed Army Hospital, and now we find out that the VA,
(Veterans Administration), is using returned combat
veterans for drug testing.

Yesterday I was on the phone with a business
associate from Texas, and he told me the heartbreaking
story of meeting two young Army soldiers who had both
lost limbs in Iraq, and who are still waiting for their artificial
limbs. They have a lot of anger at the Army, who they feel
has lied to them numerous times during their ordeal.

Both of these heroes are now 19 years old, and when their
country called on them, they didn't hesitate, they didn't ask
for all kinds of paperwork, they didn't try to get by on the cheap.

They went and did what may be the most dangerous job in
the world. Not only that, they left a piece of themselves in
that hellhole so that people they don't even know might someday
be free.

And now they are all but forgotten, ignored by government
bureaucrats who are cowards of the worst kind. After making
sure that they will never have to get close to the battlefield,
they smugly sit around making decisions about who should
get an artificial limb, and when, and how much they are willing
to pay.

Then on top of this, the VA adds insult to injury by using vets
as guinea pigs in drug trials. And I'm sure there are many, as
yet to be discovered injustices going on to. Where there is
smoke there is usually fire, and in the military, where there is
smoke and fire, there is usually a large bomb ready to explode.

Walter Reed was the last straw for me with the Bush administration.
The drug testing is just icing on the cake. But Obama, an anti-military
guy, isn't the answer.

Maybe the best thing we can do is close the VA, and let these
heroes be treated in hospitals all over the country, where the extent
of their injuries can be seen by more than just a few bureaucrats
who aren't accountable to anyone.

Is Walter Reed fixed? If I was at a Presidential debate, I would
certainly be asking. And just what is the government doing about
putting seriously injured soldiers and their families back together?
And for god's sake, why are we using veterans as guinea pigs for
the government and large pharmacuetical companies?

I want answers to these questions. Don't you?

From the big saddle,

Jim Whelan
The Chairman of the Board

P.S. Sometimes you have to be interested in more than
just business. We all owe a huge debt of gratitude for those
who have served the country without question.

thejoanrandallagency.com
206 407 3124

Last night I was thinking about the worst slump I ever
had. This isn't any salesperson around who hasn't had
a slump, and many times even the best salespeople
have slumps, sometimes even really bad ones.

A slump is when you don't sell anything, for those not
in the sales biz. Normally you make a certain number
of calls in a week, and you sell a certain percentage of
those calls. You get what is called a closing percentage.
This is a term that has some value, but it never really
tells the whole story. Many lazy sales managers use it
as the the be and end all statistic, even though there are
many other factors involved in successful selling.

My closing percentage was normally around 40%. That
means that out of 10 calls, I picked up the check 4 times.
Good salespeople close 25% of their calls. Very good
salespeople close 30% of their calls. Closing at 35% or
more puts you at the top of the feed chain.

Even at a 40% close rate, I wasn't number one. That
belonged to a legendary salesman named Max. He was
a huge guy, 6'8", and he weighed in around 275. He was
like the worlds friendliest bear.

Max closed at 72%. I've never been in any organiztion
that had a guy like Max. He really was the guy who could
sell ice to Eskimos. One time Max went into a bad slump,
and I remember it because I hit one at the same time.

The slump lasted eight days for me, and nine for Max.
The sales manager beat me up every day, because you
can't talk that way to a guy as big as Max. He wanted me
to change everything I did, and the way I did it.

I never listened to anything he said. The reason he was a
sales manager was because he was a 25% closer. I made
double the money he did, and I won lots of incentive prizes
too. I bumped into Max the sixth day of the slump, and he
asked me what Mr. Clean was saying. I told him, and he
looked at me and said, "You aren't changing anything are
you?" I said no, and he nodded, throwing in a few expletives
about Mr. Clean.

Two days later I made a huge sale, one of the biggest I ever
made. For the next 10 days I closed at 58%. Max broke loose
the day after, and closed 13 straight sales.

The lesson is this: If you are a good salesperson and your
system works, don't change it because no one is buying for
a few days. It happens. Just keep on doing the best job you
can, and sooner or later the earth will tilt slightly in your direction.
You'll start picking up those checks, or filling in those credit
card numbers.

From the big saddle,

Jim Whelan
The Chairman of the Board

P.S. Stay the course! Or get on the course and start playing.
If you don't offer your product to the public in a big way, you'll
always be small potatoes. And who wants to be tater salad?

Contact us: thejoanrandallagency.com, or call 206 407 3124.

There have to be a lot of sales managers saying it
to themselves this morning. "If only I had a Tiger Woods,
or how do I get a team of Tigers?"

I started watching the golf tournament Thursday out
of curiousity. Usually I use golf as a Sunday afternoon
sleep aide.

But this time, with Tiger coming off knee surgery,
and also because he was paired with Lefty for the first
two days, I thought it would be interesting to tune in
early. Lefty did a little too much thinking again before
the Open, opting not to include a driver in his bag.

The results of that bit of shortsightedness became
evident fairly early, with Tiger outdriving Lefty by 60
plus yards off the tee, and in the fairway.

Tiger wasn't mistake free by any means, but he
scratched and clawed and hung in there by any
means necessary, and some looked painful at times.
Then he creeped into the lead with some brilliant
play Saturday.

Sunday he was hanging on, then fell off a bit, then
charged back in the last moment to force a playoff.
So today he goes mano a mano with Rocco Mediate
for 18 holes to determine the champion.

It's as if Tiger is saying, "I'm crippled, and I can still
beat the rest of you."

If he wins, I think the psychological impact on the rest
of the best players in the world will be huge. In effect they
are being beaten by a man on one leg.

I think I have a little Tiger Woods in my tank. I've
weathered more than a few storms building this
business, and I've endured more than my share of
criticism while doing it. But like Tiger Woods, I've
shrugged it off, and focused on what I want to do.

Many of the accounts I now service I won through
dogged determination. When all the other competitors
threw in the towel, I soldiered on, making call after call.

Watching Tiger Woods play over the weekend I wished
I could clone him a number of times and put him on my
sales team. What if I had 10 salespeople who like me
and Tiger, refused to give up?

I can only dream about that.

From the big saddle,

Jim Whelan
The Chairman of the Board

P.S. It's back to Boston for the big celebration
this week, because the Celtics wanted to win at
home. My apologies to Laker fans, who are just
going to have to wait. (Forever, I hope!)

If you have a spare moment this afternoon, tune
in and watch how a true champion competes. Then
contact us here at: thejoanrandallagency.com, or call 206 407 3124.

Today, everybody I dealt with was late. Not one minute
late, which still isn't good, but 20 minutes late, or 30
minutes late.

It started early this morning at a medical lab, where I
had an appointment at 830 AM. They showed me in at
850 AM. No apologies, no reason for the delay. So my
schedule is now off by half an hour.

Then I had an appointment at the bank at 10 AM. And
I want to tell you, I am not your Joe Average customer.
I have six accounts in this bank, and they contain a good
number of zeroes.

I was ushered in the bankers office at 1018 AM. A half
hearted apology, and a laugh like it really wasn't all that
important. So now I'm an hour behind schedule for the day.

I had a conference call scheduled for 1130. The other party
wanted to rechedule for 1 in the afternoon. "We've been
extremely busy," they said.

Huh?

I'm busy too, and I can tell you one thing, I'm never late
for an appointment.

Being late is a sign of disrespect.

If you're a salesperson and you're late for an appointment
with me...I'm not buying. Period. I don't care how good your
product is, or how well you presented it.

It just ain't acceptable to be late.

More people need to feel this way.

From the big saddle,

Jim Whelan
The Chairman of the Board

P.S. A day late and a dollar short. Those words will never
be spoken about The Joan Randall Agency. We work extra
hard to show up 10 minutes early, and leave late.

Contact us at: thejoanrandallagency.com, or call 206 407 3124.

When I was a pup in the sales business I always
had to be right. What I didn't realize at the time was
that this cost me customers. One of my mentors
pointed this out to me after an unsuccessful sales
call one day.

My initial approach was good, and I got the prospect
interested in what I wanted to sell.

Then he said something that wasn't correct, and I
had to prove that he was wrong. I laid down a really
good argument, and as far as I was concerned, he
wasn't even in the ballpark.

Driving to my next appointment my mentor told me,
"You know Jim, sometimes the difference between you
and a horse's rear end is not really distinguishable."

That took a minute to sink in, and then I got really
mad. I didn't like anybody telling me I was wrong, and
I took my mentor back to his own car. Then I proceeded
to strike out for the next few days.

On Monday morning I met my mentor for breakfast. He
asked me flat out, "Do you want to be right or rich?" I
mumbled something about being rich.

He said, "It doesn't matter who is right or wrong,
what matters is you get the sale. I've been at this a
long time, and I know hundreds of experts in any
field you can name. Now most of them can't tell the
difference between cows and pigs, but I really don't care.
What I'm an expert at is getting the sale. And that
requires that you learn how to hold your tongue in a
good number of situations."

That hit me hard, and I was slow to take his advice.
I blew a number of sales in the next few months because
I had to be right. Then one day I was about to do myself
in yet again, and I heard his words again. I shut up and
got the sale.

Salespeople love to talk. And they love being right. But
your biggest asset can also be a liability. Knowing when
to keep your big mouth shut is a hard thing to learn.

But it pays off in spades.

And when you think about it, don't we have enough
experts already? Do we really need another opinion in
the decision making process?

If you ask the right questions, your clients will sell
themselves on your product. And they'll refer other clients
to you to boot because they are so happy with...their buying decision.

From the big saddle,

Jim Whelan
The Chairmaan of the Board

P.S. To all those who are having trouble selling,
thinking maybe they don't have the right product,
get a load of this. Women in New York are now
paying $180 to get a bird poo facial. And there is
a waiting list at top salons. And all the advertising
has been word of mouth.

So you think your product won't sell...think again.
You just need to get it in front of the right people,
and that's what we specialize in here.

Contact us: thejoanrandallagency.com, or call 206 407 3124.

I am constantly engaged in setting new goals for myself,
and this morning I was thinking about my first really big
customer. I tried for months to get an appointment to see
this guy, and the answer was always no.

It didn't matter if I tried on the phone, by letter, or personally,
the guy wouldn't see me. One Monday morning I decided that
I would get to see The Cheese. That's how I had him listed
in my book.

I waited till just before lunch and strode in to the office
where I presented my card to the secretary who gave me a
dirty look, and waited. About thirty seconds later she walked
out with a rather puzzled look on her face and said, "Go on in,
he'll see you."

I walked on in to the Cheese's office, which was quite large,
as he was. The Cheese launched into a long diatribe about
the company I worked for. He knew the owner personally, and
didn't like him. He then detailed a number of bad experiences
he had had with the company over about a dozen years. I found
the last story pretty amusing, and started laughing.

"You think that's funny?" he screamed at me.

"You know," I said, "I've heard a lot of stories about Bob,
but that one is absolutely the best. If I never do a dollars worth
of business with you, that was worth the price of admission today.
Do you realize how many salespeople I can tell that story to, and
how funny they're going to think it is?"

This really got his attention, and he detailed off a list of
how he wanted to work. He had a very short attention span,
and he never wanted to have to choose between items. "Just
bring me the best product you have to offer, and a reason I should
buy it."

I followed his instructions to the letter. Every week I would
bring in a very expensive product, and give him a reason to
purchase it. The presentation never lasted more than 60 seconds.
80% of the time he said yes, and he never once asked me what
anything cost.

Within months he became a whale, and I made sure I knew
his business inside and out. I knew more about his business
than his own staff, and he once threatened to fire them all
because of it.

I referred a number of salespeople to him, and told them the
rules they had to follow to make a sale. Sadly, only one of
them followed the advice I gave them. He got a large sale, the
others failed because they couldn't follow simple directions.
One time I took a guy in personally, told him the rules, and
The Cheese walked out in the middle of his presentation. He
was flabbergasted, and wanted to know what he did wrong.

"I told you to keep it to one minute or under."

"Nobody can make a sale in one minute," he said.

I did, and I did it with regularity. After six months I was
awarded an exclusive contract with The Cheese. I held it for
three years, during which time I made a pile of dough. Six
weeks after I left the company, The Cheese threw out the exclusive
contract, and my old company was shown the door. The Cheese
told them I was the best salesperson he ever dealt with,
because I could follow simple instructions. He also told them
that I anticipated what he needed and took care of it without
a hitch.

To make a long story short, I listened to what the client
had to say, and tailored a program around him. He rewarded
me for what I did with a lucrative, exclusive contract.

Listening is a good salespersons number one skill, and
if it ain't, it ought to be. Clients always tell you what they want.

You just have to deliver.

From the big saddle,

Jim Whelan
The Chairman of the Board

P.S> If you have had money on the Lakers I feel bad
or you. Or if you were one of the many folks who thought
Big Brown was a sure thing. Only two things in life are
a sure thing, The Celtics winning another championship,
and you making money by placing your ads with The Joan Randall Agency.

Contact us: thejoanrandallagency.com, or call 206 407 3124.

Today I'm going to engage in idle speculation. I have
a theory as to why Hillary Clinton failed to win the
Democratic nomination for President, and it doesn't
involve Billy Jay.

All weekend the pundits pounded on Billy Jay, and
focused in on him as the main reason Hillary was
defeated. Now I'm all for the press giving Billy Jay a
beating, because we all know he deserves one, even
if he doesn't think so himself.

The best thing that could happen to the Democratic
Party would be to have Billy Jay retire permanently
to foundation business.

Now some pundits had the idiotic idea to bring Billy
Jay out in the fall to rally the Bubba vote. This would
be typical Democratic hypocrisy, railing against Billy
Jay as a racist in the spring, and having him rally the
white folks in the fall.

So here is my theory, or idle speculation.

Hillary Clinton is not the Democratic nominee
because...she isn't good looking enough.

Now some of you may be swallowing hard, but I
think it's the truth. Barack Obama is the nominee
because he is much better looking.

And among Democrats, that's a very important thing.
The lesson all women in Hollywood learn is that after
50 there are very few roles for them to play. And Hollywood
is the Democratic party, all caught up in the past, and with
incredible fantasies about how the world actually works.

The truth is that Hillary isn't camera friendly. Even with
a full time makeup artist she can't pass muster. Whereas
Barack probably only needs a minute or two in the chair
and he's ready to for as many closeups as you need.

So that's what I'm thinking, and I've said my piece.

But you know that if I'm saying it, there must be a whole
horde thinking it. You put a picture of Barack and Michele
next to a photo of Hillary and Billy Jay, and ask the simple
question, "Which picture do you like best?"

It's all over.

To me it's just simple marketing. Everybody else just
complicates the issue.

From the big saddle,

Jim Whelan
The Chairman of the Board

P.S.Nothing is more important than first impressions.
Around here we make sure that your first impresssion
is a good one. Get on the success train right here.

Contact usat: thejoanrandallagency.com, or call 206 407 3124.